She's both doing well and . . . not? She's doing well in that she is still functional and able to truck on after the fact; she did succeed in her main goal that game, which was to ensure Jasper came out alive and also not create any ill-will that might lead to them becoming established targets for others in future games. She is completely okay with being ruthlessly committed to protecting Jasper in death games above all other teams, no matter how much she might get to like other teams.
She feels really bad being petty about Jasper's decisions though! She hadn't given the situation the consideration it deserved until she saw the blood in endgame and also wasn't able to physically protect Saya when Jabberwock attacked. She feels generally bad that people died, but -- it's the pettiness that is the big factor in her guilt here!
I talked briefly about her reaction of shock and emotional lockdown, and that's both a way of punishing herself for being so casual about death and a way of defending herself/not letting others see her as weak. Because she also feels pretty weak and helpless in Aather right now! :|a She won't forever, but it's a curiously vulnerable time for her. Fffortunately she is innately capable of just dealing and bottling up and moving on rather than flipping out.
The one good reaction to the trauma game is that she did make a genuine hard connection/feel genuine affection and protectiveness to Saya! It's good to see her defenses finally lowering a little to let in a fellow Jasper.
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She feels really bad being petty about Jasper's decisions though! She hadn't given the situation the consideration it deserved until she saw the blood in endgame and also wasn't able to physically protect Saya when Jabberwock attacked. She feels generally bad that people died, but -- it's the pettiness that is the big factor in her guilt here!
I talked briefly about her reaction of shock and emotional lockdown, and that's both a way of punishing herself for being so casual about death and a way of defending herself/not letting others see her as weak. Because she also feels pretty weak and helpless in Aather right now! :|a She won't forever, but it's a curiously vulnerable time for her. Fffortunately she is innately capable of just dealing and bottling up and moving on rather than flipping out.
The one good reaction to the trauma game is that she did make a genuine hard connection/feel genuine affection and protectiveness to Saya! It's good to see her defenses finally lowering a little to let in a fellow Jasper.
Reverse?