Mithos Yggdrasil (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
antreegonist) wrote2011-03-09 07:09 pm
antreegonist) wrote2011-03-09 07:09 pm
[SOTU]
I WAS GOING TO WRITE AN ORGANIZED ESSAY BUT THAT TAKES EFFORT HAVE THIS LUMP OF THINGS INSTEAD
- FIRST THING: Look how much ETA I had to put on this writeup. DAMMIT FRED. TOPPING YOUR TRAUMATIZED ANTAGONISTS WITHIN 24 HOURS.
SECOND THING.
[Mithos] god there is an essay to be had on his FEELINGS re: suzaku and beauty and how aather is getting too large for him to feel like he can deal with it and his unhappy on balancing HIS OWN FEELINGS time vs FAILING AT CHECKING ON EVERY TEAM
[Lloyd] give me a miniessay on beauty :o
[Lloyd] lloyd is feeling like aather is too big for him to CHECKING EVERY TEAM too
[Lloyd] it's part of why he's been going for his individuals more lately :(b
[Mithos] cryyy faith feels like a failure for it though because he is the doctor, people on those teams he is not checking on were hurt
[Lloyd] VANILLE HELPED WITH THEM :B
[Mithos] SHE DID but \O_o/
[Mithos] he actually completely forgot to give sapphire and emerald quests for their medicine after dreamgame
[Mithos] so i guess they're never getting them
[Lloyd] oops...
[Mithos] gawd beauty
[Lloyd] don't get shanked by three before i have a chance, mithos....
[Mithos] i...i'll try not to
[Mithos] ...i guess the thing is
[Mithos] mithos cares about all the things in aather, even the things he doesn't like
[Mithos] and the personae are a part of that and beauty in PARTICULAR is a part of that
[Mithos] like he told her 'some knights and heroes find you selfish and cruel' and he counted himself among them because, objectively, she /is/
[Mithos] blah blah being a kidnapper blah blah knowing they would be subjected to bad conditions and death and bad things and bringing them in anyway
[Mithos] but he can't...not sympathize with her desperation
[Mithos] and how tired she is, and how limited despite having crazy power
[Lloyd] haha. lloyd is sort of the same and different at the same time! he genuinely believes beauty doesn't want to hurt them and stuff but the longer things go on the more willing he's going to be to oppose her anyway. and part of that is... his weird perception of power, which is going to only get worse the more memories he gets back
[Lloyd] and his belief that if you have the WILL you can do multiple things at once
[Mithos] ...mithos also meant it when he told her he thought she did him a favor though
[Lloyd] REUNITE THE WORLDS, SAVE ALL YOUR FRIENDS, EVERYTHINNNGGGG
[Mithos] we can't all be lloyd irving, lloyd irving
[Lloyd] the more he gets back the more he'll feel that she cares but she just doesn't care enough to REALLY try
[Lloyd] or she'd be able to do better than this
[Mithos] :'(
[Lloyd] haha :( MITHOS ALREADY HATES HIS LIFE THAT MUCH?
[Mithos] ummmmm not exactly
[Mithos] but he is getting some idea of something having gone WRONG in his head, and now he has a VERY CLEAR idea of what it's like to live with fear all the time vs not having to
[Mithos] aather...is his opportunity to fix himself...i guess
[Lloyd] ...bawwwwww
[Lloyd] i hope your "PUNCH OUT MY ISSUES" attitude lasts, mithos yggdrasillll
[Mithos] god me too 8(!
AND NOW OTHER RANDOM STUFF.
RE: SHIELD - Faith was not okay with Shield killing someone, but he also feels like he's MISSING SOMETHING HERE. So he didn't push that; it's a messy situation, he didn't see it firsthand, and he wants to hear from Amethyst first. Mostly he wants Shield to focus on living and finding a new purpose, because dying is stupid and once you're dead you can't make any sort of difference anymore. If you want to punish yourself for things like this, living with your mistakes is a harsher punishment than dying by far! Faith has a pretty heightened appreciation of the value of life in Aather. MMM, MAKING SPEECHES ABOUT THE SAME PRINCIPLES HE IGNORED IN CANON, HOW ABOUT THAT. Sometimes I forget how alike Mithos and Lloyd are at base, and then threads like this happen.
Also if Shield had actually gotten himself booked Faith would have found a way to drag him out by the ear. NO YOU DON'T. He still genuinely thinks Shield can be an excellent Knight, and he still counts Shield as his friend.
RE: TIME BALANCE - Faith keeps wanting to go around and see every team!1 but then stuff...piles...up on him. He was going to check up on the teams who died/got seriously injured but then...got his own trauma to deal with and couldn't deal well with people until he went out that night, ha ha. :'D He feels like a useless jerk when there is stuff to be done for other people and he's not doing it. At the same time, Aather has gotten too large for him to be everywhere and he's being forced to prioritize and preference people despite himself.
RE: TEAMS, KNIGHTS, PERSONAE - He's also realized that he deals better with team members individually, because when he deals with a team as a whole he's very aware of being outside their dynamic. They're all grouped in tight where Sterling is very loose-knit and uncontrollable; they can pull each other in where Sterling can't enforce itself well. The feeling lessens around teams he's been familiar with from the start (Emerald, Tiger's Eye), but it never leaves. He didn't affect Coral's decision very strongly in the trauma game because he felt he had no right to--his opinions weren't Coral's opinions, they were already prioritizing the teams he loved, etc. He would have spoken up if Coral had planned a malicious hit on someone! But that didn't happen. I don't know that he'll keep taking that mildly backseat attitude in games that are highly dependent on interteam dynamic, but IT IS POSSIBLE.
Faith is a little wistful about the team dynamic, but he recognizes that he does much more good where he is right now, as a Knight placed to help the teams and make the teams help each other. He's not...accepting of the unbalanced system, per se, but at the moment he's more willing to work with it than Lloyd is, and see how he can twist the rules without breaking them! Someone has to, and while he doesn't like it, he doesn't yet have the power or confidence to try and overtly challenge it alone. He has no idea his nearest and dearest plan to do exactly that! Ha...ha. I'm not sure what his limit is yet re: disobeying Personae's direct orders.
Back to ideology: Faith does what's right for himself but also because he feels that's what you're supposed to do as a decent person. Faith is also very aware of the Knight role and continually tries to reconcile 'being a person who can be trusted' and 'being a Knight who can be trusted,' with mixed results. He does it by being honest with the teams, as much as he can: he lets them know why he does and doesn't do things, always. Every Knight has developed an their own Knightly identity, and that's his! There is every possibility that individual Sterling--even the little 'hero' group within it; even Faith and Lloyd--will walk different paths later with regards to Personae loyalty. There is also every possibility they will jump ship together/keep each other in the same place. It'll depend! Gosh I love Fred.
RE: DOCTORING - He's deliberately numbing himself already. He's accepted that trauma games happen and they hit him hard, that there may be ways to beat them but almost no chance there won't be casualties. If he takes the time to freak out personally over each and every dead and wounded person then he's not going to be able to help anyone! So he throws himself into the work right away at endgame, and beelines straight for the wounded and tries to ignore the corpses because he can't help them, and feels like a terrible person for doing that. That compartmentalization. It doesn't help that he can feel people die and come back to life.
With Cinnamon around he also feels less needed on the medical front because he can only treat wounds and she can heal them directly. It's a complicated feeling, with a hint of professional jealousy, and he squashes it down because it's unfair. He loev Cinnamon and he knows he would have gone insane being the lone experienced medic for ~80 people who get hurt and/or dead all the time. He's just also unused to working with someone on this, and mildly at a loss.
RE: ASUKA - THEIR RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW IS BUILT ON MUTUAL TRAUMA AND DEALING WITH MUTUAL TRAUMA and a lot of respect and maybe some hormones and they both fail tremendously at conventional romance. They may never stop failing at conventional romance. But it seems to be good for them! Communication is happening, albeit in fits and starts! They are both very confused.
RE: LLOYD - What do I even say here. BROS FOR LIFE? ROW OF HEARTMARKS? IMPENDING DOOM? Lloyd is Faith's biggest anchor. They're a team! Faith's developed a really unhealthy dependence on him, really fast--he can't sleep without Lloyd, and he'll probably never take another memory again without Lloyd there as a bracer. WAYS TO DRIVE FAITH FROM COPING TO CRAZY INSTANTLY: KILL LLOYD IRVING, PROFIT. We are setting up for fantastic meltdowns.
did I miss anything important, idek questions go here maybe
- FIRST THING: Look how much ETA I had to put on this writeup. DAMMIT FRED. TOPPING YOUR TRAUMATIZED ANTAGONISTS WITHIN 24 HOURS.
SECOND THING.
[Mithos] god there is an essay to be had on his FEELINGS re: suzaku and beauty and how aather is getting too large for him to feel like he can deal with it and his unhappy on balancing HIS OWN FEELINGS time vs FAILING AT CHECKING ON EVERY TEAM
[Lloyd] give me a miniessay on beauty :o
[Lloyd] lloyd is feeling like aather is too big for him to CHECKING EVERY TEAM too
[Lloyd] it's part of why he's been going for his individuals more lately :(b
[Mithos] cryyy faith feels like a failure for it though because he is the doctor, people on those teams he is not checking on were hurt
[Lloyd] VANILLE HELPED WITH THEM :B
[Mithos] SHE DID but \O_o/
[Mithos] he actually completely forgot to give sapphire and emerald quests for their medicine after dreamgame
[Mithos] so i guess they're never getting them
[Lloyd] oops...
[Mithos] gawd beauty
[Lloyd] don't get shanked by three before i have a chance, mithos....
[Mithos] i...i'll try not to
[Mithos] ...i guess the thing is
[Mithos] mithos cares about all the things in aather, even the things he doesn't like
[Mithos] and the personae are a part of that and beauty in PARTICULAR is a part of that
[Mithos] like he told her 'some knights and heroes find you selfish and cruel' and he counted himself among them because, objectively, she /is/
[Mithos] blah blah being a kidnapper blah blah knowing they would be subjected to bad conditions and death and bad things and bringing them in anyway
[Mithos] but he can't...not sympathize with her desperation
[Mithos] and how tired she is, and how limited despite having crazy power
[Lloyd] haha. lloyd is sort of the same and different at the same time! he genuinely believes beauty doesn't want to hurt them and stuff but the longer things go on the more willing he's going to be to oppose her anyway. and part of that is... his weird perception of power, which is going to only get worse the more memories he gets back
[Lloyd] and his belief that if you have the WILL you can do multiple things at once
[Mithos] ...mithos also meant it when he told her he thought she did him a favor though
[Lloyd] REUNITE THE WORLDS, SAVE ALL YOUR FRIENDS, EVERYTHINNNGGGG
[Mithos] we can't all be lloyd irving, lloyd irving
[Lloyd] the more he gets back the more he'll feel that she cares but she just doesn't care enough to REALLY try
[Lloyd] or she'd be able to do better than this
[Mithos] :'(
[Lloyd] haha :( MITHOS ALREADY HATES HIS LIFE THAT MUCH?
[Mithos] ummmmm not exactly
[Mithos] but he is getting some idea of something having gone WRONG in his head, and now he has a VERY CLEAR idea of what it's like to live with fear all the time vs not having to
[Mithos] aather...is his opportunity to fix himself...i guess
[Lloyd] ...bawwwwww
[Lloyd] i hope your "PUNCH OUT MY ISSUES" attitude lasts, mithos yggdrasillll
[Mithos] god me too 8(!
AND NOW OTHER RANDOM STUFF.
RE: SHIELD - Faith was not okay with Shield killing someone, but he also feels like he's MISSING SOMETHING HERE. So he didn't push that; it's a messy situation, he didn't see it firsthand, and he wants to hear from Amethyst first. Mostly he wants Shield to focus on living and finding a new purpose, because dying is stupid and once you're dead you can't make any sort of difference anymore. If you want to punish yourself for things like this, living with your mistakes is a harsher punishment than dying by far! Faith has a pretty heightened appreciation of the value of life in Aather. MMM, MAKING SPEECHES ABOUT THE SAME PRINCIPLES HE IGNORED IN CANON, HOW ABOUT THAT. Sometimes I forget how alike Mithos and Lloyd are at base, and then threads like this happen.
Also if Shield had actually gotten himself booked Faith would have found a way to drag him out by the ear. NO YOU DON'T. He still genuinely thinks Shield can be an excellent Knight, and he still counts Shield as his friend.
RE: TIME BALANCE - Faith keeps wanting to go around and see every team!1 but then stuff...piles...up on him. He was going to check up on the teams who died/got seriously injured but then...got his own trauma to deal with and couldn't deal well with people until he went out that night, ha ha. :'D He feels like a useless jerk when there is stuff to be done for other people and he's not doing it. At the same time, Aather has gotten too large for him to be everywhere and he's being forced to prioritize and preference people despite himself.
RE: TEAMS, KNIGHTS, PERSONAE - He's also realized that he deals better with team members individually, because when he deals with a team as a whole he's very aware of being outside their dynamic. They're all grouped in tight where Sterling is very loose-knit and uncontrollable; they can pull each other in where Sterling can't enforce itself well. The feeling lessens around teams he's been familiar with from the start (Emerald, Tiger's Eye), but it never leaves. He didn't affect Coral's decision very strongly in the trauma game because he felt he had no right to--his opinions weren't Coral's opinions, they were already prioritizing the teams he loved, etc. He would have spoken up if Coral had planned a malicious hit on someone! But that didn't happen. I don't know that he'll keep taking that mildly backseat attitude in games that are highly dependent on interteam dynamic, but IT IS POSSIBLE.
Faith is a little wistful about the team dynamic, but he recognizes that he does much more good where he is right now, as a Knight placed to help the teams and make the teams help each other. He's not...accepting of the unbalanced system, per se, but at the moment he's more willing to work with it than Lloyd is, and see how he can twist the rules without breaking them! Someone has to, and while he doesn't like it, he doesn't yet have the power or confidence to try and overtly challenge it alone. He has no idea his nearest and dearest plan to do exactly that! Ha...ha. I'm not sure what his limit is yet re: disobeying Personae's direct orders.
Back to ideology: Faith does what's right for himself but also because he feels that's what you're supposed to do as a decent person. Faith is also very aware of the Knight role and continually tries to reconcile 'being a person who can be trusted' and 'being a Knight who can be trusted,' with mixed results. He does it by being honest with the teams, as much as he can: he lets them know why he does and doesn't do things, always. Every Knight has developed an their own Knightly identity, and that's his! There is every possibility that individual Sterling--even the little 'hero' group within it; even Faith and Lloyd--will walk different paths later with regards to Personae loyalty. There is also every possibility they will jump ship together/keep each other in the same place. It'll depend! Gosh I love Fred.
RE: DOCTORING - He's deliberately numbing himself already. He's accepted that trauma games happen and they hit him hard, that there may be ways to beat them but almost no chance there won't be casualties. If he takes the time to freak out personally over each and every dead and wounded person then he's not going to be able to help anyone! So he throws himself into the work right away at endgame, and beelines straight for the wounded and tries to ignore the corpses because he can't help them, and feels like a terrible person for doing that. That compartmentalization. It doesn't help that he can feel people die and come back to life.
With Cinnamon around he also feels less needed on the medical front because he can only treat wounds and she can heal them directly. It's a complicated feeling, with a hint of professional jealousy, and he squashes it down because it's unfair. He loev Cinnamon and he knows he would have gone insane being the lone experienced medic for ~80 people who get hurt and/or dead all the time. He's just also unused to working with someone on this, and mildly at a loss.
RE: ASUKA - THEIR RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW IS BUILT ON MUTUAL TRAUMA AND DEALING WITH MUTUAL TRAUMA and a lot of respect and maybe some hormones and they both fail tremendously at conventional romance. They may never stop failing at conventional romance. But it seems to be good for them! Communication is happening, albeit in fits and starts! They are both very confused.
RE: LLOYD - What do I even say here. BROS FOR LIFE? ROW OF HEARTMARKS? IMPENDING DOOM? Lloyd is Faith's biggest anchor. They're a team! Faith's developed a really unhealthy dependence on him, really fast--he can't sleep without Lloyd, and he'll probably never take another memory again without Lloyd there as a bracer. WAYS TO DRIVE FAITH FROM COPING TO CRAZY INSTANTLY: KILL LLOYD IRVING, PROFIT. We are setting up for fantastic meltdowns.
did I miss anything important, idek questions go here maybe